Steubenville Continued -What Happened After Steubenville

Wow so a lot has happened since then... then as in like four hours ago. Well, not a LOT a lot but I was really enlightened by the Holy Spirit at Adoration tonight. So we went to a Steubenville recap and a lot of people gave their testimonies on what happened to them. And a lot were really really relatable. One thing that really struck me was the people who said that they found it "spiritually dry" and were upset by that. The thing was that I didn't really find it dry but I had been finding mass dry like I talked about above anyways I was just sitting in adoration and I am not sure if I have ever felt more inspired by the Holy Spirit in my life. And I definitely have never felt so at peace. So here is what happened:

I have a problem. I do this thing where I get SUPER stressed about the future like who am I gonna marry, how will I know he's the one, am I called to marriage or to be a nun, what college should I go to, what should I major, how am I gonna be able to pay for college, and most importantly what is my mission in life. And I have been asking and asking the Lord to help me and tell me. And I had heard of people finding out their "mission" at Steubenville. So I was really hoping the Lord was going to finally (I know I am only fourteen why am I stressing out yet) to tell me. And he didn't.

That was really hard for me to fathom. I just wanted to know why Lord why aren't you telling me what my vocation/life plan/mission is. And tonight he told me the answer. The reason the Lord didn't tell me was that he just wanted me to trust him and let my type A self calm down and just relax for a minute. And before this, I don't know if I am the only one but I have never really related to "trusting in God". I never really got what people meant until now that everything will be all right. God will tell me one day what my mission is and it might not be till I am fifty or it could be tomorrow. Who knows? I am just so happy that I don't have to stress about it anymore and I can just let Jesus take care of it because he knows SO SO much better than I do.

I slowly came to this realization of trusting in God when I sat in wonderful, blissful silence for twenty minutes. It was EXACTLY what I needed. I have never felt peace like I felt in that Adoration. Here's what happened after I realized the whole trusting in God thing. I just felt the greatest peace in the world. Because at that time and still now I was almost positive for the first time that if I died I would go to heaven. And I have been searching for a long long time for that peace and I am so so happy I found it.

You might not know this but touch is totally my love language. Like when someone hugs me that shows me that they care about me far more than words or gifts could. So in adoration, I was just envisioning myself with my head on Jesus's shoulder or in his lap and that just brought me such happiness thinking about how I can go to heaven and be with him. And when I see him I can hug him and tell him how much I love him. And at that moment for the first time, I felt love for God. Sitting in their in that little pew I knew for the first time in my life that I loved God. Well, I always knew it but for the first time, I actually felt it. And I have never felt so joyful or at peace in my life.

I thank you God so much for that twenty minutes in an old and creaky chapel that changed my life forever.